


too loud

by froggie_1824



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depressed Saihara Shuichi, Gen, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Saihara Shuichi Needs a Hug, Short One Shot, and he gets one, could be viewed as platonic, kokichi has big gay tho, rated for descriptions of blood, spoilers for ndrv3 chapter 3, the killing game took its toll on shuichi, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggie_1824/pseuds/froggie_1824
Summary: it was his fault, after all
Relationships: Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	too loud

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sacrifices (or murder?)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22800064) by [Emanating_Auras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emanating_Auras/pseuds/Emanating_Auras). 



> the killing game must have had some sort of effect on the protagonists.
> 
> cw: panic attack, detailed panic attack, implied self-harm, suicidal thoughts

_“I believe in you…”_

__

__

_“Don’t lose sight of the truth.”_

But why, if the only thing it brings is pain?

Maybe, no one needed to know the truth at all.

The empty hall was silent, the only light coming from the moon through the window. 

On the wall sat a lonely detective, tears dripping down his pale face.

It was his fault, after all. He was the reason they were all dead. 

Kaede, Kirumi, Korekiyo. The three of them had been sent to their deaths by his deductions.

But the only reason they had to kill was him.

Kaede had killed for a selfless reason. She hadn’t known she had gotten it wrong. Besides, he could have prevented it all if he had just been more fucking obsevant. Idiot. 

She had done it for them, and yet Shuichi killed her. It was all his fault all his fault all his fault he’s the one to blame-

But there was no better option! They all would have died otherwise!

But it was him who had started it by investigating. He shouldn’t have gotten her involved.

Kirumi was just trying to escape from this horrible place. She was just trying to do her duty. 

And Shuichi killed her too. The only reason she had killed Ryoma was Kaede’s execution. And that could have been prevented.

If Shuichi hadn’t been such an idiot, he would have noticed Korekiyo’s plotting. But he was too blinded by his false sense of security.

There was blood on his hands.

He could almost see it.

No, he could see it. It burned on his hands, staining them pink. It poured out onto his arms, onto his lap, onto the floor,

And yet, it wasn’t his.

He had to get it off. Get it off get it o _ff get it off he can’t look at this any longer-_

And everything was pink.

He saw it in his reflection on his face on his a _rms on his legs it was everywhere get it oFF HE COULDN’T BREATHE-_

“Shumai?”

Shuichi whipped around, his eyes wet and wide.

“Shuichi, what are you doing?”

Kokichi stood in the middle of the hall, frozen in horror. “Shuichi, stop.”

Shuichi choked out a sob. He looked up at the liar and back down to his b _loodied hands covered in the remains of his friends-_

“Hey. Breathe with me. It’s fine.” Soft touch, kind voice, he didn’t de _serve this he deserved-_

“Stop it. Just breathe.” But he had killed he was a murderer-

“In, out. That’s it, keep going. You’re okay.”

And he was back.

Why? Why had he been helped when they hadn’t? 

“Shuichi. Can you hear me?” Big purple eyes stared into his. “You okay?”

Shuichi laughed. Or, well, it was meant to be a laugh. It came out more like another sob. “Y-yeah.”

Kokichi frowned at him. “Doesn’t look like it.”

The detective smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have-”

“Shut. Up. Now. Before I really do kill you.” Kokichi sent him a scathing glance.

“But it was-”

Shuichi felt a finger against his lips. “Shut the fuck up. Please.”

Shuichi nodded frantically. 

Kokichi backed away.

It was then that Shuichi noticed the gashes in his arms, and the blood underneath his fingernails. 

His blood.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, a soft touch to his usually loud voice.

Shuichi shrugged.

This wasn’t the usual Kokichi. The normal Kokichi would point and laugh, leave him alone, insult him, or say something weird.

But this Kokichi was soft, helpful, and kind. This Kokichi was comforting and quiet.

Maybe this Kokichi was just in his imagination. That would make sense. He had gone so insane that he was resorting to hallucinations to calm him down.

“Hellooo~? I asked you a question, dummy.”

But maybe not.

“I-It’s my fault.” Shuichi felt something trickle down his face.

“Psshh, no it’s not. Just chill out about it, everyone gets panic attacks.” Do they?

“No. The- the killing game. I’m the reason they’re- that they’re-” Shuichi broke off, feeling a pain in his throat.

“Why? Cause you carried the class trials?” Kokichi stared at him, an innocent frown on his face.

Shuichi opened his mouth, then closed it. “I wouldn’t put it like that, but…”

The liar snorted. “It’s not your fault they decided to murder someone.”

“But it is! I should have been the one executed! If I hadn’t shown Kaede the moving bookshelf she wouldn’t have set the trap, and then everyone else wouldn’t have been pressured into killing-”

Kokichi stared at him, a hand over Shuichi’s mouth. “Stop it. It’s not your fucking fault.”

Shuichi made a noise of protest from under Kokichi’s hand. 

“Look. Just. If it weren’t for you, we would ALL be dead. Kaede made her decision on her own. It’s not your fault.” Kokichi glared at Shuichi.

“You’re the only trustworthy one here. Don’t you dare die on me, because you actually have a brain.” Kokichi hissed.

Shuichi’s eyes widened. As Kokichi pulled his hand away, Shuichi spoke.

“You really… you really think that…?” He stared at the ground.

Kokichi huffed. “You’re overthinking this. Just… don’t die.” His expression was angry, but his eyes gave away his true feelings.

And as the liar’s figure faded from his vision, Shuichi watched him go.

**Author's Note:**

> unrelated but I just saw that the word count was 888 so go listen to '888' by cavetown it's really good okay bye


End file.
